the sea of tranquility

i had dinner with my dad a few days back.
“you realize dolores will be gone two years next month?” he said.
“it feels like it’s yesterday and ten years ago at the same time,” i said.
i had it all balled up with chemo and radiation.
this life-death thing was going on and her decline while tragic, had to take a back seat to my battle to not let this death thing be a group event, not that i felt i had an active part in my survival, but attitude is everything.
my self-preservation, my hope for a bit more time in this toy factory had kicked in and centered on survival.
i can’t stop thinking like this right now.

my dear little friend is still on the other side of the above photo, probably heading around, hopefully soon to reappear and slingshot back into moments i had grown accustomed to.
it might be a good idea to keep business as usual, so to the glossary;

18 – Meaningful learning – A cognitive process in which learners relate new information to the things they already know.
if meaningful learning for the human species is to ever matter on this planet it would have to be stored genetically because it’s continually washed away by generations who continue to do the same stupid things and demand different results, yet another reason that the earth we’re keen on being kind and loving to could give half a shit about our green initiatives because there’s protozoa, cockroaches, coyotes and horseshoe crabs that are chomping at the bit for another ice age.
there. i used it in a sentence.
i’m not hootin’ and hollerin’ about a thing.
i’m not railing against a blessed thing.
i’m all about the sanctity of life.
i’m all about the sanctity of death.
humanity will forever be hamstringed by the “douchebag affect.”

i’m saying there’s a world of liars who don’t mean what they say. i’m saying that going green is, while well and good, is just another “sell.”
i’m saying that humanity doesn’t get it till it gets its ass handed to itself, just like…..humanity.
and then watch out.
i believe that certain wheels were set in motion decades ago and “fixing things” might be noble but futile. i’m not saying don’t try. i’m saying we need some of the intergalactic yowza, mega-zipadeedooda sparkling-like-a-garish-firestorm-of-joy, sort of luck.
i believe all sorts of stuff.
thank goodness i’m an endlessly-editing work in probable progress.
thank goodness i believe everything i say especially while i’m saying it.
hooray for my rapid-fire belief system.
i’m not praying for or predicting cataclysm, i’m just saying that things are going to happen. cause and effect.
thank goodness i’m an expert.
things happen all the time.
that’s my expert opinion.
people die. cities die. people are born. cities are reborn.
we’re lucky. we’re out of luck.
that’s more expertness.
we plunder and abuse and push the earth-envelope halfway to hell then try to get all sorts of palsy-walsy with it, hoping it hasn’t gotten personally disenchanted with us.
i’ve learned my lesson.
experts like me are always learning.

About stephen trimboli

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