sidetracked by…..

….loads of things.
there was every reason to write things this week, even to continue the things that have become practices, like this;
The Mind and Memory glossary;
Elaboration – A cognitive process in which learners expand on new information based on what they already know.
Any elaboration regarding what they said on PBS last night regarding “Extreme Ice” would only punctuate the extraordinary sense of doom i found myself laughing at as the program drew to a close.
there now, i used it in a sentence.
as i do with anything that is remarkably great or horrible, the need to re-view this special that was aired last week presented itself to me as i surfed the stations, thereby allowing me another chance to procrastinate about writing another note.
two notes last week. i must’ve had a ton of things on my mind, except i can’t remember what they were.
i can’t remember “what,” all the time.
this is more a desire than a failing, though i probably won’t admit that.
i might be full of malarkey.
like when i worked in a restaurant staffed by eastern-european gamblers, when a question is posed like this;
“hey, do you think it’s going to rain?”
the answer is, at first,
“huh?” then followed with an answer.
this is a way to capture a moment to formulate a lie or excuse; to cover one’s ass.
i think this is a holdover from the days of living under an authoritarian state, a time when a question answered incorrectly could get you in trouble. of course, this is a supposition with no basis in fact, but it sounds good to me.
after working there a while, guess what i did when someone asked me a question?
“huh?” – that’s what i did.
it’s like when i moved to georgia. after a while, i got a lazy southern accent and hated myself for it; but there it was, coming out of my brain by way of my mouth.
i felt so fake.
“listen to you, dummass,” i’d say to myself. (“stop that, you shitheel,” a NY accent would lace into me) – the war between the states never ended and my brain could prove it.
i would hear the twang in my own mind and i would castigate myself for this behavior.
hang around a barbershop, eventually you’re gonna get a haircut.

this past week, the big math was throwing all sorts of fun at me. it mocked me and it loved me and it drew pictures in the sand and told me to take snap lots of photos. it whistled dixie, wrote stories, roasted comedians, sowed seeds, smacked me around, gave me a thousand reasons to nap, made me cry and promised “more to come…” like a voice-over announcer on helium. there was lots of things that wore down my will to pay attention, something i continually feel like i’m reminding about.
some of my friends and cohorts, here in the land of goodbye blue monday, were asked to list things i may have written back when they were called blogs because someone thinks some of the ravings and ramblings i post might be worthy of my getting a larger forum, nee/ paid or unpaid writing gig. when he said this to me, i said “really?”
i’ll take what i can get, i’m singing “brother can you spare a dime
….and then i remembered that we’re all going to hell in a handbasket, what with this water issue. the disappearing glaciers. the ice sheets. the rising ocean levels and temperatures.
boy, i can’t wait to see the much more dire MSNBC special i missed this sunday.
the networks are well-versed in scaring the hell out of you.
they say “doom” with four D’s and six “oom”s.

this,

plus this,

equals this.

but “this” is nothing.
it really isn’t. i’m not all sorts of “this and that” about anything.
i’ve listened to the news, then more news and some opinion and found myself waiting for the only news that was going to matter tonight – “the parallax view
i wrote about this last year. the filmscore is as paranoid as me.
it borrows a little from both kennedy assassinations, among other things.
i bring this film up because with all of the terribleness delineated earlier in this note, a film that offers such abandonment of justice or hope (it’s all about timing) that upon seeing the “pitch” by the parallax corporation – the ad he finds is about “changing your luck,” and you know how luck fixes into my universal mathematic equation of the moment – zzzing!
i probably need to youtube that scene again, too; “the montage” so here goes;

my week .....my last week.

About stephen trimboli

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